Melbourne, Florida (WBNN)
Prehensile Products, of Melbourne, Florida announces Simian Sizzile, The Burgers That Bite, made from 100% pure Monkey Meat. Prehensile Products claims that Simian Sizzile is the first burger made only from monkey meat. "Other burgers may contain some monkey meat," claimed a company spokesman, "Who can tell? It's all ground up anyway. We guarantee that our burgers are 100% monkey." Simian Sizzle's initial markets are Florida, Tennessee and the Kansas City Metro Area. Prehensile Products, who slogan is "Ridding The World Of A Horrible Pest, Naturally", is also known for their unique company uniform, which features dark sunglasses and a Colt Anaconda in a shoulder holster.
In related news, Prehensile Products is negotiating with Best Friend Products, of Knoxville, Tennessee, to begin a joint marketing effort in conjunction with the roll out of Wagglty Tail, the Power Energy Drink in the Tennessee area.