Knoxville, Tennessee (WBNN)
Best Friend Products, of Knoxville, Tennessee, has announced their first product, Wagglty Tail, the Power Energy Drink which makes your tail wag! Initial test marketing will be in Florida and the Kansas City Metro Area. The ingredients list for the pink, frothy concoction is unknown, but it is high in protein. Best Friend is negotiating for the rights to use the old tune "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?" in their advertising. Best Friend is also known for their progressive emploment opportunities.
"We hire hobos." said Fred Jones, Best Friend plant manager. "Occaisionally one will just disappear, but they are real hard workers. We just play "Big Rock Candy Mountain" on the intercom and they're happy. There's a little commuter train which runs to their shanty-town. Don't know why it's only made up of boxcars, though."